Aging

I have to admit that I am extremely pleased everytime someone is shocked when I tell them how old I am and they can't believe it. The response is always "you look so young." Usually it is when I tell them that I have a 14 year old daughter and they assume that I had my daughter in my early teens, when I actually had her a few months before my 24th birthday. So yes I am proud to admit my age, because with age hopefully comes some wisdom, but without the physical signs of aging.

The only problem with this is that it makes think that one day I am going to wake up and look in the mirror to see the older woman that I am. It will all catch up with me one day, I'm sure. Until then I should accept the compliments as they come, but know the reality that my future has in store for me.

I guess I am especially concerned since most of my family looks their age or older. My father has aged considerably over the past several years (of course alcohol and cigarettes help the process). I am amazed at how much he has aged. It took him some time before he started to show the signs of aging, but then it seemed to just hit him like a ton of bricks. Although as I had said before my grandmother has aged beautifully, hopefully I'll follow in her footsteps.

This post maybe makes me appear a bit obsessed about my appearance, but I really wouldn't say that. I sound like a woman that spends her day in the mirror applying her makeup and fixing her hair to perfection, but I am far from that type. I usually apply my makeup in the car, and I'm lucky to put it on once a day. I do make exceptions when I go out on a date or maybe to a club, but trips to the library, bookstore, school etc. require little if any makeup at all. My hair is wash & go (with the exception of coloring) and my usual attire is a pair of jeans and a t-shirt/sweatshirt.

I usually only think about aging when someone brings it up to me, such as last night. That is what prompted this post.

I also read an article about women's views of growing older. This article states that women's ideas of aging gracefully are no longer defined by looks alone. I can say that even though I am apprehensive about my appearance with aging, I feel that in many ways I am embracing the age process itself. I often think about what life will be like in the years to come. I am even somewhat excited about the experiences that I will be able to have when my children are older. I look forward to being able to travel more, anywhere that I desire. Experiencing whatever appeals to me without having to worry about the time I spend away from my children. Being a single mom has kept me from doing things that I would like to do (don't get me wrong I DO NOT regret having my children). I just have to try to keep a balance that will allow me to be there for myself and my children. The last thing I want to do is make them feel that I have not been there for them. They are my priority now, my turn will come later. I'll be patient.