"NO FAMILY"

Two days ago I walked up to the woman behind the desk at the hospital. I needed to sign in for the surgery that I was having that morning. Don't worry, nothing too major, just getting girly parts in working order. I told her my name, and she looked around for anyone that appeared to be with me. When she realized that I was alone, she opened her mouth and those dreaded words spilled out, "NO FAMILY?" As I looked down at the sheet of paper, I noticed that she was writing down those exact word in large letters "NO FAMILY" after my name. I also noticed that I was the only person with such a label next to their name.

I then proceeded into a surgical waiting room, where I was the only person not with a friend or family member. Instead I sat there and pretended to watch the television while I waited for my name to be called. I felt a wave of relief pass through me as I heard my name being called.

Of course this relief was short lived when I was taken back to a prep room where it was noted again that I had "NO FAMILY." To add to it, when the nurse left my little cubical she kept the curtain open, which of course made it all too easy for me to notice all the other patients with their relatives by their side offering their comforting words.

I won't lie, I started to cry. Not a heavy cry, with tears pouring down my face, but instead a gentle pool of tears in the corner of my eyes. Enough to make me uncomfortable, but not enough to make it obvious to those that walked by. Although I just knew that my secret would be exposed the moment someone walked up to me and forced me to open my eyes, which I am sure were red and tear filled. I remember lying there on the litter thinking to myself how much I wished my kids were old enough to have come with me, of course they are not, but I would have liked it. This is my third surgery, but the only one that I have been alone for. I am surprised at how much being alone bothered me. I do so many things alone. I am sure that someone would have stayed with me, but I hate to ask anyone for anything, so I didn't. Part of my personality flaw I guess, the inability to ask anyone for help when I need them.

I've only shared this with one person so far. Those that know me don't read this blog, with the exception of my daughter, but she hasn't read this in a long time. I am sharing this because I want it known that no matter how much someone claims that they are fine and don't need anyone, never, never, never let anyone have surgery alone. They are lying, they do need someone to comfort them also, just like I needed someone to comfort me. Don't let anyone read the words "NO FAMILY" next to their name on a sign in sheet.

BTW, my surgery went fine. Hopefully my girly parts are in their proper working order.